I Dont Know Anymore...

I got this from a friend..."I miss my inspiration"(Sandra Ayala). Im really starting to get depressed now cuz I dont know what I wanna do anymore. I have lost my inspiration for the things that I really want to do because im not able to do them right now. Plus it seems that im not getting any closer to my goals. I feel like im trapped in this "loser" phase. Nothing is the way I want it to be. Im fuckin stuck at that no good piece of shit UPS(United Pacel Service)! Its killin me cuz I cant do shit with that "loser" ass money they payin me. Cuz all I can do is pay all my bills, leavin me with shit to spend. While everybody else is always talkin bout shopping...and buying this and that. Going out having a blast every fuckin weekend. Everybody else be fresh from head to toe and stuntin in they fresh cars or cars better than mines. I dont give a fuck about all that shit forreal forreal. I just want to be able to live my dream and go to a university and play football and get an education at the same time. And one day make it to the NFL cuz I know I have the talent and skills to make it there. Right now all this shit is making me not give a fuck about shit anymore. Im doing shit now that I have no business doing. But the thing is when you see me im always happy and have a smile on my face. Im always goofin and all that. But inside im not happy at all. I guess that just helps me get through the depression that im going through. I cant forget that I have some true friends that get me through the days..weeks..months..etc. I thank yall for that cuz I dont know what I would do without yall. Well thats it...I just had to get that out. Enough said.